Couples therapy in Truro, Cornwall

Couples come to therapy for many different reasons. Some are in crisis. Others feel stuck in patterns of conflict, distance or misunderstanding that they have not been able to change on their own. Sometimes a couple comes because something has happened — an affair, a separation, a loss, a betrayal, a major life change. At other times, the difficulty has developed slowly over many years.

Couples therapy offers a space in which both people can speak and be heard. The aim is not to decide who is right or wrong, or to provide quick advice about what you should do. It is to help you understand what is happening between you, how the same difficulties may be repeating, and what each person may be carrying into the relationship.

What couples therapy can help with

Couples therapy may be helpful if you are struggling with:

  • Repeated arguments or conflict

  • Emotional distance or loss of intimacy

  • Difficulties with trust

  • Affairs, betrayal or secrecy

  • Communication problems

  • Sexual difficulties

  • Separation, ambivalence or uncertainty about the future

  • Parenting, family or blended-family tensions

  • The impact of bereavement, illness, trauma or major life changes

  • A feeling that you keep having the same conversation without anything changing

Some couples come hoping to stay together. Others come because they are unsure whether they can or should continue. Couples therapy does not assume a particular outcome. It can help you think more clearly about the relationship, whether that leads to repair, change, separation, or a better understanding of what has happened between you.

How I work with couples

My approach is psychoanalytic. This means I am interested not only in what is being argued about, but in the emotional patterns, unconscious expectations and repeated positions that may shape the relationship.

A couple can sometimes find itself caught in a familiar structure: one person pursues while the other withdraws; one feels criticised while the other feels abandoned; one demands clarity while the other feels trapped; both feel unheard. These patterns can become painful and entrenched, even when both people want things to be different.

In couples therapy, we try to slow things down enough to understand what is happening. This includes listening to each person’s experience, but also paying attention to the relationship itself — the dynamic that develops between you, and sometimes also in the room with me.

The work can involve difficult feelings. Anger, sadness, guilt, resentment, shame, grief and fear may all emerge. This can be painful, but it can also be clarifying. When a couple begins to understand the emotional logic of its difficulties, there may be more room for thought, responsibility and change.

What happens in sessions?

Couples therapy sessions provide a confidential and structured space for both partners to speak.

I do not take sides, and I do not act as a judge. My role is to help both of you think about what is being communicated, defended against, repeated or avoided in the relationship. This may include current conflicts, earlier histories, family patterns, questions of dependency and independence, sexuality, loss, trust, anger, love and disappointment.

The first meeting gives us a chance to think about what has brought you to therapy and whether this way of working may be helpful. If we decide to continue, we would agree a regular time to meet.

Frequency and length of sessions

Couples therapy sessions last 75 minutes.

I usually meet with couples weekly or fortnightly, depending on what seems clinically appropriate and practically possible. Regularity is important, particularly when a relationship is under strain, because it gives the work enough continuity to develop.

Confidentiality

Couples therapy is confidential, with the usual limits around serious risk of harm or legal obligation.

In couples work, confidentiality also needs to be thought about carefully because there are two people in the therapy. My primary commitment is to the therapeutic space for the couple. If one partner contacts me separately, I will usually treat this as something that may need to be brought back into the joint work, rather than as a separate confidential conversation.

These arrangements can be discussed clearly at the beginning, so that both people understand the frame of the work.

Beginning couples therapy

You do not need to have a clear solution in mind before beginning. It is enough that something in the relationship feels difficult, painful, stuck or uncertain.

An initial consultation gives us a chance to meet, think about the situation together, and decide whether couples therapy may be useful.

To arrange an initial appointment, please get in touch.